Sometimes, the old adages spoken by our grandmothers are the most relevant today. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. I came very close this week to closing my Facebook account, but I DO like how it connects me to old friends and relatives. What I do NOT enjoy, however, is the way it is used as a soapbox for every opinion out there. NEWSFLASH: I know that many people share varied and different opinions on a wide range of topics. That’s what makes the world interesting. Listening to different viewpoints is what makes us grow. But sharing your ideas in a positive, productive way is very different from proselytizing on Facebook every day of your less-interesting-to-others-than-you-think life.
With recent news events – the Charleston shooting, legalization of gay weddings – I’ve had my fill of soapbox lectures. More importantly, I’ve found myself becoming very sad. Sad that a young boy was so lost he took the lives of others. Sad that members of the gay community are attacked and ostracized by people who call themselves Christians. Sad that people stereotype so rigidly. Sad that we can’t see beyond flags and skin color and labels.
I’m from the South. I love the South. Does the Confederate flag connote different meanings to me than to my northern friends? Probably so, because we are all products of our environment. Do I feel this flag needs to come down? Absolutely. But I also hope that if you visit my relatives’ farms and someone drives up with a Confederate flag decal on his truck, that you won’t pass immediate judgment and condemnation. He’s probably bringing a basket of vegetables to share from his garden. Besides, you know very little about him. You don’t know the whole story.
I’m heterosexual. I was born that way. I have friends and family members who are gay. Do I fully understand homosexuality? Admittedly, no. But frankly, I don’t need to. What I need to do is to treat everyone with respect and dignity. What I need to do is to follow God’s commandment to love. I believe God cares more about our actions than our opinions. A pure heart will look for good; a self-serving heart will look for an argument.
Let me say it again. I believe God cares more about our actions than our opinions. He wants me to embrace those that are hurting, comfort those that are sad, and to look for people’s true intentions rather than loopholes for arguments. It’s simple. When I meet someone new, I don’t ask him if he owns a Confederate flag. I don’t ask him if he is gay. I don’t ask him if he owns a gun. But I just might ask him if he’d like some fresh tomatoes from my garden.
